I woke up on the eve of Chinese New Year with an overwhelming urge to see my teachers Erika and Timothy Khoo from Oasis Holistic. Erika and Tim were the people who brought me to yoga 5 years ago and I had not seen them in years.
When I was in hospital after the 2004 Tsunami, Erika called me (she had never called me before) and told me she felt that something had happened to me. It was really quite spooky... When I returned to Singapore, Erika came to see me and gave me by first mantra "Ra-ma-da-sa". It's a healing mantra and one that I keep dearly even today. Erika and Tim then helped me through re-hab. I had hundreds of cuts and stitches all over my feet and legs, a severed archilles tendon and 80% loss of nerves in my right foot (I still have no sensation in most part of my right foot today.) I was in a cast and had to be in a wheelchair then on crutches for nearly 3 months. Throughout this period and after, I practised yoga with Erika and Tim almost every other day and they gave this out of the kindness of their hearts charging almost nothing.
Prior to this, I was only practising yoga once a week and it was very much a physical workout. I did not understand the spiritual healing of yoga.
When I was still unable to walk, I decided that I wanted to be a yoga teacher and signed up for the Yoga Arts Teachers Training Certification. I figured it was something to work towards. I couldn't do standing poses, and Tim would modify the poses so I could do them sitting. The physical healing was amazing, but the emotional healing was even better. It was a trying time for my 3 boys (7mths, 5yrs and 6 yrs then) and I - we were just coming to terms with being a single parent family (which was very tough on my 2 older boys) and this near-death experience was the straw that broke the camels back. The children (including the baby) refused to go near water, wanted to stay at home with all the windows closed and I was in tears all the time...
Yoga was my refuge. When I was on the mat, everything felt ok; I was at peace and protected- and this gave me time to heal. Erika taught me that I had to take yoga off the mat though, and into the everyday of life. And this may be something I have forgotten over the years.
When I went to see Erika and Tim on Saturday, I had no agenda in mind, and no idea why I suddenly wanted to see them so badly. I showed up late morning at their studio (unannounced and not even sure if the studio was open). Erika was surprised to see me and we sat down to chat for a while about the kids and about practise. After only a couple of minutes, Erika told me that my heart was heavy and closed... Yes, she has this remarkable gift. She took out her singing bowl and began her healing work. With the sounds from the singing bowl and Erika's guidance, I slowly felt my heart opening up again and the clutches of whatever was gripping so tightly, releasing. It felt like I was the lotus coming out of the depths of the murky waters into the light. (Om mane padme Om) Then she sounded the gongs to chase out all the negativity and I cried and cried and it was great! Crying is like de-tox that cleanses the soul.
Coincidentally, there was a vipassana sitting right after so I stayed for that.
I still feel the heaviness in my heart sometimes but with what Erika has shown me, I have been able to consciously open up the heart and let it go. I have spent many hours sitting on my mat these past couple of days. And the time will come (quite soon I hope) when I will keep the same calmness and peace even off the mat.
It is uncanny how Erika and Tim come into my life at the most opportune moments. It was as if God was sending me my very own 2 guardian angels. I feel that something amazing is going to happen soon and that I will be embarking on the next leg of my yoga journey. My heart is listening to the messages of the universe... forever grateful for life’s lessons.
Only in the darkness of the night can we appreciate the brightness of the light.
